This is to you, the one who’s hung up on the first. He was all you dreamed of. She was all you hoped for. You had a conviction to recreate this special person to the one. I mean, they just have to fit your picture-perfect dreamlike knight or princess. So you molded, day and night, you sculptured this being; optimism your number one trait. This person must be the one, no doubt in your mind. Thing about firsts is they are your only experience. So you simply stuck to what you knew was the best. He had the kindest word, she the warmest hug, he the gentlest touch, she the softest kiss, he the most loving heart, she the wisest brain… they were superlative above all. But you forgot they were all you had ever had. This slowly blinded you to the little things that were not oh so normal or if so, not so right then. She was the jealous, green with envy ‘you-best-not-be-hanging-out-with-Shaniqwa' type, he was the rude ‘don’t-bring-me-your-nonsense’ type. She was the ‘oops it kind of just happened and our lips met in mid-air’ girl and he was the ‘leave me alone but don’t you dare leave, I know where you live’ guy. He was the insecure dimwit, she the spoilt brat. It was all rainbows and thunder - two phenomena I have never quite thought made sense together. But in the name of love you stuck out the exceeding nonsense and stayed hung up on that first. See many of us think that the first must be the last; the last guy who sees you as you are, the last lady who understands your heart, the last lady who you can love endlessly, the last guy who will keep it real. The truth is the first is not necessarily the last. We often put up with nonsense that no one should have to all in the name of love and all in the shadow of fear. We forget our worth, if we ever knew it, and place our better half on a pedestal with our hearts in their hands. We tell the said love of our life to have their way with our hearts because they are the ‘only’ ones. Wouldn’t it be great if we could resolve for our first to be the last? They could be the last person we end up with - and that would be great. However for those who do not end up with their first we could make a different kind of resolve. He/ she can be the last person as well. The last person you allow to demean you, the last person you allow to control you, the last person you allow to ‘love’ you with their own power and not the Almighty’s , the last person who listens to reply and not to understand, the last person who doesn’t grow you but breaks you. They could be the last person you allow to abuse you, whether physically, emotionally or psychologically. They could be the last person who smothers you with their insecurity in you, the last person to misuse your trust over and over all in the name of a moment of weakness, the last person to make you doubt your worth and feel like they are the only people capable of loving you. You can make your first your last; but it all takes a matter of choice. The firsts go away. You must create new ones.
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