I don’t fear solitude but loneliness I do.
Loneliness is the stench of dependency The haze of tears long condensed The horror of a heart beating to one beat with none to match it Loneliness is cold nights, closed arms, broken hearts, frozen love It’s the pain of looking back and finding no drive to look forward, The disappointment of looking in the present and lacking satisfaction It’s the cloud of gloom that rises at dawn and lasts long after dusk It’s the faraway look in your eyes, the turmoil seen beneath the façade of your being. Solitude is dancing to your own rhythm- Hearing no music, but dancing still, It’s art in your heart, Love burst on your face It’s the voice of God saying: Know me, know yourself then you are never alone Solitude is the search for self- deep within It’s the thirst to find the essence of your being The longing to sit in silence and find your heartbeat The beauty of finding your own cadence and not seeking one to match it The reminder that arms hold but hearts feel That it only takes you to take your own breath away It only takes you to really accept yourself Solitude is bliss; loneliness despair.
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I don’t say this to console you- Much as you may need it I say this to state the obvious truth Your struggle is yours Unique to the guy next door But you still are not alone You see I’ve been you before Thirsting for the attention Bouncing off walls in an attempt to get the tiniest bit of recognition Masking your troubles in the seemingly lesser issues Forgetting that big or small it’s a problem all the same And face it you must, extinguish it in fact I’ve been you more than once Stuck in the middle When your mind -in all its right senses-screams leave But your heart is hooked to a human Like a body hooked to drugs You can’t dare to see past them Cos in your mind it’s always been them I’ve seen it before- the withdrawal symptoms They shake your body to the core You feel the tremor from lack of touch You feel the throb in your heart that pulsates deep within You feel seemingly crazy You lose touch of yourself and all you are You lose sight of your dreams So you suffocate deep within I’ve been you before, drowning Smiling on the outside but shattered deep within Glancing away cos the eyes are the windows of the soul And these windows are bleak You can’t let anyone see it So you let the sad ballad take over Looking beside you see no one to relate to My story might be yours but no path is ever the same Looking behind you see a dark past A case of don’ts that were done, mistakes that can’t be ranked Each as bad as the other So you look below and sink to the ground If you could sink lower you surely would Lower than dirt is how you feel So you forget to look above Forget the still small voice You forget the one who speaks in the wind The one who shows signs in the trees and the birds and the flowers in the field You forget the one who incessantly speaks The one who endlessly loves You forget the One who whispers and says “Child, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.” |
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